I just spent the last two hours playing Skyward Sword, and the controls are atrocious. Nintendo is still trying to justify their motion controls, and again, they completely fail at it. The entire system feels heavy and slow, which is exactly what you don’t need for a game that requires speed and precision. Every time you need to use the controls, you’ll constantly be asking yourself- “How is this better than just pressing a button?” But it’s motion controls! You know, 1 to .5, for every motion you do the game kinda does the same thing! That is, if you remembered to reset the center point , which is something you have to do every single time you take out your sword (note, you must do this before you actually fight, which means bringing up a menu or using a tool with a center function), else you’ll just be flailing about wildly. Not that that really matters, as with the auto-lock you can flail about and still connect with the enemy, but I could do all that with a button and save my wrist from years of pain, too. Nintendo manages to shoe horn in enough filler to try to make the motion controls worth it- you must cut the rope like this, or you must hold the sword up to gather energy before you can blah blah blah, but it doesn’t work because the game infrequently matches the sword on the screen to what is happening in real life. It constantly thinks that I’m not swinging the controller hard enough, so Link just stands trying to recreate the “slow sword dance party” from Highlander. Ah, the good old days, when I could stand near a rope that needs to be cut, hit the attack button, and the game would cut the rope! Now, the game just thinks I really dislike the rock face.

And the item system- remember when choosing an item took a quarter of a second, hitting one button? Yeah, those were good times, and they’re gone. Now you’re lucky if you can do the same action in less than 3. Menus as well- in Twilight Princess you used the camera on the Wiimote to point at menu stuff, but now, you’re going to physically have to point the remote to the right or left of your body. Go ahead. Pick up a pencil an hold it in your hand like you were going to shiv someone (like you would hold a remote, that is). Now rotate your wrist to the right. Yes, that is much easier and more comfortable than pointing the remote at something, isn’t it? Oh, wait, your joints probably aren’t made out of rubber.

Of course, the best part about all of this is that you can’t do a thing about it, no options at all to make it move faster or slower, and the only calibration you can do is to just hit the “down” button on the Wiimote, something that is not immediately doable for people without large hands.

Nintendo- just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Motion control is a gimmick that retards the gameplay and is more a disconnect than just pressing a button, because humans, in everyday life (which has very realistic motion controls, perfect 1 to 1), could easily reach out and touch something in front of them and not have it misconstrued as a violent slap to the side of a building with the back of the hand. Didn’t anyone at Nintendo ever wonder why speed runs for Twilight Princess are always done on the Gamecube and not the Wii?

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